Chintzy

Shhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:36:45 +0100

I am sorry for the short entry but I am busting to wee (TMI, sorry).

Had my Guardian photos done today.

The photographer told me they wanted two sets of shots - one indoors and one outside.

This is because the editors want me to be on the cover of G2.

*falls over*

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Chocette recipe: The Gutbuster

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:48:34 +0100

Take one sachet of Lucy's favourite hot chocolate mix:

Swiss miss hot chocolate with marshmallows

And one scoop of this (scoop included):

Rapidweightgain

Mix until lumpless into a warm mug of this:

Mmm milk

And to finish, add a load of this:

Squirtycream

And you have what is now called The Gutbuster.

The Gutbuster is dietitian approved - I just spoke to her on the phone and she loved my concoction - and you are advised to drink it slowly. Lying down after for a while may be necessary.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Live Blog: Eating

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:19:19 +0100

Hello. This is Fox In The Snow, blogging on behalf of Lucy who is reclining on the sofa.

11:00 Soup and two slices of bread, washed down with loads of full-fat milk. Total calories estimated at 500. Not bad!

16:10 In the past half an hour, I have eaten a Thorntons cake bar (180 calories - wahey!) and a falafel (35 calories).

[Lucy has just described herself as the new Barbara Cartland - resplendent in pink, lying down and dictating her thoughts.]

16:25: After a short break, I have opted for hummous and a slice of bread, weighing in at 61 calories.

16:33 Time for a Mars milk shake, and another 100 calories.

18:13 Dame Barbara here. Sorry, Lucy here. Lovely Fox in the Snow has left her typing duties - I paid her as she left with a Choc Dip - and my evening carer has just left. She fried me some fish fingers, calorie content unknown. I am now drinking a cup of milk.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

It could turn into a best-selling blog book...or not.

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:40:00 +0100

Hello you beauties.

It's lovely out, and while out for a wheelchair stroll with Dad through St James', loads of people were smiling and happy. This has put me in a reight good mood.

I had an appointment at St Thomas' the other day, and through the salmonella, I have lost 10lbs. I couldn't afford to lose this, as I'm a skinny cow anyway, but hey, it's not like I've lost a leg or my face. I can really feel it, though. I've lost it from my legs, bum, and back, and sitting/lying down is hard because I'm all boney, which is a shame because sitting is one of the few things I can do well. Standing up and walking isn't easy because I have no energy, and I'm stiff and sore, but things will improve.

As part of my weight gain plan, I was wondering about making this a diet blog, inspired by a few of you. For a title, I wondered: chocette, sittergirl, paunch come back? Sorry I have no imagination.

As the diet blogs go, my food intake so far: minestrone soup and two slices of bread with loads of butter - Dad is visiting me to look after me, and he seems to use half a tub of butter per slice for me - milk, a hotdog with fries, a chocolate milkshake, more milk, and even more milk. I just want to drink milk. I want a constant supply of it trickling into my mouth from an IV or a Tommy Tippee, whatever. I WANT MILK.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Lady got style

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 11:58:14 +0100

Okay, so this wasn't in the foodhall bit, but...

Selfridges last week.

Old woman, 70+.

In a bright green Chanel minidress and high heels with big sunglasses.

She looked mad, but by goodness she could carry off the look.

Chanelwidow

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

QotD: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:15:36 +0100

What are your neighbors like? (The ones you live near or next to, not the ones in your Vox neighborhood!)

Well in the next flat plus one, there are a lovely American couple. Their names I cannot remember, but it is something like Kathy and Bill. "Hi! We're Kathy and Bill!" Yeah, that sounds about right.

Then there is the friendly Asian gentleman who once talked to me in the lift about expensive chocolates. Actually, it was a bit more of a creepy flirt. I remarked how the chocolates he had brought home were the best (Leonidas) and he was all "You like nice things, do you?"

Er, anyway, most of the people who live in this house/block/whatever are women, especially old single women. It is probably part of the doorman's job description to entertain the old ladies in flirtation and conversation while they pass through to buy milk, bread and cat food at Central London's Largest Waitrose.

I think a few acedemics live in the building too, as quite a few of the older men who live here seem quite eccentric, and they're all generally nice.

In the evening, if you walk through the hallways to leave/come back in, you can smell all the cooking of everyone's tea. Everyone either cooks curry, something garlicky, or burnt toast.

Not really neighbours, but back onto the subject of The Young Persons' Hotel Across The Road; those who have been round my flat - and watched any undressing men - will know that the hostel rooms have mirrors in the windows, so, the residents do their make-up/shaving, etc, while facing out the window onto the street.

In the months I have been here, I have only seen men toplessly use the poorly thought-out window mirror, until recently, where there was a woman - or a very feminine man with long hair and manboob problem that really needs addressing - using the mirror, yes, topless.

I mean, for goodness sake, WE ARE ON A BUSY ROAD WHERE PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WALKING UP AND DOWN. We are in between Russell Sq. and Euston/St Pancras/King's Cross, and there is constantly the dunt-dunt-dunt noise of people walking with suitcases on wheels and stuff coming and going from the stations. And it is a residental area! There are CHILDREN walking around, popping to the shops, CL'sLW, and Coram's Fields - the bloody playground! I turned away and continued to watch Come Dine With Me. Jeez.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

fgraaaaaaa

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 16:37:56 +0000

Typical.

I see a job advertised in the field I am well into - technology journalism, blogging etc - located in Covent Garden (not far, cab-wise) and at an okay-ish salary to start off with, AND it is with a company I have already freelanced for.

I am qualified and bloody well experienced enough, but here's what's wrong:

the interviews are when I am back in Rotherham for my sister's birthday/Easter
I'd have to swan off to The Guardian for two weeks in April, and I don't know how they'd be with that.

ARGH BOLLOCKS BOLLOCKS.

I'm wondering if it's meant to be that I don't apply and get an interview etc. because there may be other possibilities for me post-Guardian, and I have done a commission and been offered even more work for a big technology consumer magazine anyway, and arghh sorry I am confused. Two frigging paths are confusing me.

I think I need to go and play Nintendogs for a bit.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:36:42 +0000

I think I must have fallen asleep during Come Dine With Me, and I must be still dreaming...

G2 this afternoon have offered me two weeks work experience with them in April.

I'm so shocked. I've been told in the past it is near impossible to get in there, so I sent my CV expecting a 'thanks, but no thanks' at the most, but OH MY GOD.

Roll on April, I can't bloody wait!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

A great way to waste an afternoon

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:17:43 +0000

It is gloriously sunny out, but I'm in a bad way, walking-wise, so I'm stuck inside moping.

One of the things that has cheered up my immobility is this website for Wiltshire Farm Foods.

It's a company that deliver ready meals, mostly to old people, who return to the website to write reviews of the meals.

Let's have a look at some?

Steak & Mushroom Bake:

"Very tasty and extremely good value. Mrs Cullimore. Merseyside."
Mrs Cullimore, Wirral
"I LOVE THIS BUT I HATE SPROUTS SO I BIN THEM AND STEAM SOMETHING ELSE."
Mr guile, Dunfermline
"Love this dish A1 perfect combination."
Mrs dindorp, Radstock

'Mr guile' from Dunfermline is my favourite, as all his reviews are in CAPS LOCK, kind of like when you persuade your old folks to start texting you and they don't know how to get it off CAPS so every message from them is like they are shouting at you.

Hungarian Beef Goulash:

"YES IT WAS NICE, PEPPERS AND ALL."
Mr guile, Dunfermline
"My 1st WFF meal, not something i would usualy try but i must say it was real tasty, better than most micro-meals. Large enough portion, I look forward to T-time tomorrow. I followed instruction for microwave remembering NOT to pierce/remove film food was cooked fine."
Mr parker, Gainsborough
"Very disappointed to find that there are peppers in this dish that DO NOT belong . Also i love this dish but am allergic to peppers!(peppers originate From Mexico). "
Mrs dindorp, Radstock

Is Mrs dindorp anti-Mexico or just anti-peppers?

There was another meal, I can't remember what, and someone, maybe Mr guile just put: "DISGUSTING."

It is my new favourite way to pass time.

In other news, I have just had a dozen cupcakes delivered, but I can't open them yet. GAAAAARRGHHH.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Mornings

nobody@vox.com(Lucy) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 10:54:06 +0000

I'm going to blog about my mornings. I always hated getting up early in Rotherham, as it meant, oh shit! school/college/university/hospital, and while I still hate getting up early, something is different. I have somehow fallen into a proper sleeping routine here, and if I'm not in bed by half eleven at the latest, I am whacked. I am sad. Furthermore to this, I like a drink of milk at night before settling down. Dear Lord.

My alarm clock has only ever woken me up twice in the last four months, as I always seem to be awake 15/30 minutes before it, having been stirred by some sirens, the neverending water/road works on my street, or the urge to wee.

Anyway, two things make my morning good:

1. My Carer

She's 23, called Mara, and she's from Brazil. She comes from a carers agency where you need to have nursing experience, which is brilliant, and I couldn't have got anyone better. She's very intuitive, not just with medical things, but also when it comes to the general tidying and cleaning of the flat, and she knows how I like things just so, and certain stuff within easy reach, like the phone, remote, those biscuits, etc.

She's also really funny. Much hilarity comes from her learning English and mispronouncing words.
I've taught her: cardigan, tights, sheets (she finds sheets hilarious as she thinks it sounds like shit, a little bit), slippers, biscuits, and Jaffa cakes.

She says Hillary Clinton as: Hello Clinton, and that's how I'll think of her throughout the candidate race and her now possibly unlikely presidency.

I've also learned stuff from her too. Did you know that Valentine's Day in Brazil is in June? This is further proof that it is all wrong over here.

While Mara is round in the morning and we're doing dressings or she is cleaning/tidying, on the TV there is usually...

2. Wanted Down Under

Before this show I never thought much about Nadia Sawalhahahahaha, or indeed, Australia, but I now know I don't ever want to:
a - go to Australia as it is full of idiot British families
b - meet Nadia

Oh God, her voice makes me want to smash my head into the TV.

Basically, the show is about families who want to emigrate to Australia, because apparently, Australians want a loads of skilled UK people to have some of their jobs. The people who are moving are so annoying. Normally it is the mother or father who wants to move, and the kids are roped into agreeing with them. The other partner is usually hesitant, but easily persuaded.

Apparently in Australia you can swim with dolphins and live on the beach everyday, and this is the lifestyle they want. What is doubly annoying is how the families are usually disappointed that Australia isn't as cheap as they thought, some property is expensive, and most of them found that they'd only be earning half their UK wage. But it didn't matter, because their new home has a swimming pool! Or room for one!

The families would also be shown a DVD of friends and family getting upset about how much they'd miss them if they moved. Little Stephanie would then begin to cry and remind mum how aunt Agnes has fallen down the stairs a lot more lately, and how she finds it hard to make friends. But who cares?! Our new house looks like one on Ramsay Street!

As much as this show made me angry, I am now disappointed it has been replaced by an animal rescue show, full of feral cats and dying dogs. Anger is better than sorrow in the morning.

Come back, Nadia! All is forgiven!

Send to a friend