Mornings

I'm going to blog about my mornings. I always hated getting up early in Rotherham, as it meant, oh shit! school/college/university/hospital, and while I still hate getting up early, something is different. I have somehow fallen into a proper sleeping routine here, and if I'm not in bed by half eleven at the latest, I am whacked. I am sad. Furthermore to this, I like a drink of milk at night before settling down. Dear Lord.

My alarm clock has only ever woken me up twice in the last four months, as I always seem to be awake 15/30 minutes before it, having been stirred by some sirens, the neverending water/road works on my street, or the urge to wee.

Anyway, two things make my morning good:

1. My Carer

She's 23, called Mara, and she's from Brazil. She comes from a carers agency where you need to have nursing experience, which is brilliant, and I couldn't have got anyone better. She's very intuitive, not just with medical things, but also when it comes to the general tidying and cleaning of the flat, and she knows how I like things just so, and certain stuff within easy reach, like the phone, remote, those biscuits, etc.

She's also really funny. Much hilarity comes from her learning English and mispronouncing words.
I've taught her: cardigan, tights, sheets (she finds sheets hilarious as she thinks it sounds like shit, a little bit), slippers, biscuits, and Jaffa cakes.

She says Hillary Clinton as: Hello Clinton, and that's how I'll think of her throughout the candidate race and her now possibly unlikely presidency.

I've also learned stuff from her too. Did you know that Valentine's Day in Brazil is in June? This is further proof that it is all wrong over here.

While Mara is round in the morning and we're doing dressings or she is cleaning/tidying, on the TV there is usually...

2. Wanted Down Under

Before this show I never thought much about Nadia Sawalhahahahaha, or indeed, Australia, but I now know I don't ever want to:
a - go to Australia as it is full of idiot British families
b - meet Nadia

Oh God, her voice makes me want to smash my head into the TV.

Basically, the show is about families who want to emigrate to Australia, because apparently, Australians want a loads of skilled UK people to have some of their jobs. The people who are moving are so annoying. Normally it is the mother or father who wants to move, and the kids are roped into agreeing with them. The other partner is usually hesitant, but easily persuaded.

Apparently in Australia you can swim with dolphins and live on the beach everyday, and this is the lifestyle they want. What is doubly annoying is how the families are usually disappointed that Australia isn't as cheap as they thought, some property is expensive, and most of them found that they'd only be earning half their UK wage. But it didn't matter, because their new home has a swimming pool! Or room for one!

The families would also be shown a DVD of friends and family getting upset about how much they'd miss them if they moved. Little Stephanie would then begin to cry and remind mum how aunt Agnes has fallen down the stairs a lot more lately, and how she finds it hard to make friends. But who cares?! Our new house looks like one on Ramsay Street!

As much as this show made me angry, I am now disappointed it has been replaced by an animal rescue show, full of feral cats and dying dogs. Anger is better than sorrow in the morning.

Come back, Nadia! All is forgiven!